SUPER BOWL OF SEQUELS: THE SIXTH SENSE VS. GOOD WILL HUNTING

6thThe Sixth Sense (1999)
Starring Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collette

The Sixth Sense 2: Unbreakable

LAST SEEN: We learned that Donnie Wahlberg killed Malcolm after all. And not with his funky fresh cool beats.

OPENS WITH: Dr. Malcom Crowe wandering the streets of Philadelphia. Time has passed.

He shows up at Cole’s townhouse. “Goddamnit Dr. Crowe. You can’t just show up anytime you want. My family thinks I’m crazy enough. My wife is threatening to take the kids to her mother.”

“But you are the only one who can hear me. I’m so alone.”

“You need to find a purpose. You did so much good as a therapist.”

“But I thought once I realized I was dead heaven was going to come get me. Like they did with Patrick Swayze in Ghost?”

“I know. And we talked about this. That was just a movie.”

“Before I go, I have to tell you as your doctor, you need to lose some weight.”

Malcolm thinks about what Cole said. All that good while he was alive, what did it get him? His wife is remarried, he wanders the Earth alone, and he can’t even change his clothes.

He finds himself in Foxborough and wanders into Gillette Stadium. So angry he takes a football and squeezes. So hard that it breaks the supernatural barrier and deflates it.

He makes a decision. He will battle all of Philadelphia’s enemies forever. Starting now.

THE END

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gw

Good Will Hunting (1997)

Starring Robin Williams, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Minnie Driver

Good Will Hunting 2: Revenge of Chuckie

LAST SEEN: Will going to see about a girl.

OPENS WITH: A clip of the first movie where Ben Affleck’s Chuckie swore:

“Look, you’re my best friend, so don’t take this the wrong way but, in 20 years if you’re still livin’ here, comin’ over to my house, watchin’ the Patriots games, workin’ construction, I’ll f*ckin’ kill ya.”

Cut to Chuckie, aged, staring out a window. He’s startled by his wife.

“Chuckie! What are you doin’ over there!? I need you to stir the sauce. Everyone is comin’ over at 3.”

“No problem Zazu. By the way, this looks wicked awesome!”

Their 5 children Weezer, Chubbsy, Squeeze Box, Haggs and Baby Richard are running around their modest house in Southie. It’s decorated in red, white, and blue for the Super Bowl.

The doorbell rings and 12 boys come running in. Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.

Zasu puts “The Voyage of the Mimi” on in the bedroom for them to watch.  Skylar and Zasu catch up, and Will comes into the kitchen to help Chuckie.

Chuckie: “Hey as$hole.”

Will: “What, b*tch?”

Chuckie: “Happy Super Bowl Sunday.”

Chuckie then gets serious. “My lone one-dimensional character trait is that I’m very loyal to my friends. I mean, if I were eternally banished from heaven and sent to Wisconsin, I’d want you to be with me.

And I made you a f*ckin’ promise to kill ya if you were still here watchin’ the Pats.

Argo, I gotta kill you.”

THE END


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