Black Widow: Knocked Up

LAST SEEN: Heartbroken over Bruce Banner/Hulk.

OPENS: 

“It was inevitable that Black Widow would die in childbirth.”

Believing she was sterile, she was elated by the news.  It turned out that the big guy’s altered DNA reversed her condition.

The pregnancy was taxing.  Every time one of the babies got mad, her stomach exploded three times its size.

scarlett_johansson__black_widow__heavily_pregnant_by_realbuzz-d7vwn7z

While the doctors recommended terminating the pregnancy, she refused.

After a month her small frame couldn’t support them anymore.  Black Widow gave birth to 900 babies and succumbed to her death.

images (4)

The little monsters were cannibalistic by nature, and their sibling rivalry was fierce.

squeeze-toy-aliens

 

These are the few that survived:

download (2)The Triplets: Made a living making candles out of their own earwax.  Sold at Dollar Stores nationwide.  In the sale section.

Lou Ferrigno: George put him out of his misery.

Image result for green lantern scarlett johanssonThe Green Lantern: Has an unresolved Oedipus Complex.Image result for green caterpillar alice in wonderlandGreen Caterpillar: Medical marijuana advocate.

 

Image result for yoda

Yoda: Know it all, he is.

 

Related image

Green M&M: Works the green light district.

 

Image result for green characters

Mike Wazowski: Lives with his “roommate.”

 

Image result for beast boy

Beast Boy: Likes waffles.

 

Image result for the grinch and oscar the grouch

The Grinch & Oscar the Grouch: Mild-mannered people persons.

 

Image result for green characters

Kermit the Frog: Just gave up pork.

 

Slimer:  Worked for Hi-C in the 80s.  Was downsized and is now at Nickelodeon.

 

Image result for poison ivy batman

Poison Ivy: Got mom’s good looks and dad’s temper.  Made a list of her enemies after being left for dead.  Killed them all.  Sword collector.

 

Image result for greedo

Greedo: Shot first.

 

Image result for green characters

Gumby: Left out and dried up.  Had to be thrown away.

 

Image result for green characters

Green Giant: Corny

 

Green Man: Failed superhero.

The Black Widow and the Hulk’s children may not be Avenger material, but they are trying their best.

After all, it’s not easy being green.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s