Starring Cher, Nicolas Cage
LAST SEEN: Loretta loves him awful.
OPENS WITH: A bright flash. A beat cop is taking a picture of Loretta’s corpse in Ronny’s bed. She’s still wearing her wedding dress. She’s a bride without a head. And a neck full of love bites.
Ronny is sitting at the kitchen table. His rented tux is covered in blood. Despite his obvious shock, the police are grilling him and wanting answers.
A cop hits Ronny on the back of the head,
“Snap out of it!”
The lead detective sits down across from Ronny.
“Listen. Your life is going down the toilet. You are our number one suspect. You claim you don’t remember anything after midnight, and you are covered in the victim’s blood.
I’m trying to throw you a bone here. It was a full moon last night. Animals can act kinda crazy when that happens. Do you know anything about a wolf without a foot?”
Ronny shakes his head.
The detective continues, “Some neighbors reported seeing one in the neighborhood around the time of the murder.”
Ronny shakes his head again. He remembers nothing. He’s heartbroken.
“Well, while we check on this wolf lead, we’re going to have to take you back to the station.”
A MONTH LATER
The detective’s wolf trail went cold, and Ronny sits in his cell, waiting for trial. He looks out through the window bars into the night sky. A full moon appears behind the clouds.
THE NEXT MORNING
The police are frantic after finding Ronny’s cell compromised. The bars were pulled from the windows, and several supporting cinder blocks are in pieces on the ground. Ronny is nowhere to be found.
The police fade into the background as a television comes into focus.
“We have some breaking news. Someone has stolen the Declaration of Independence.”