Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 2: What a Mess, I Confess

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
Starring Matthew Broderick

LAST SEEN: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

(Bow bow) Oh Yeah (Chick chicka chicka)

OPENS WITH:  32 years later — Ferris looking solemn as he stares out his corner office window. His assistant comes in rattling off his day’s schedule.

Ferris stops her, “I can’t today Grace. I’m taking the day off.”

“Right now? You… you can’t! You have important hedge fund manager things to do today. Think of the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads. They are all counting on you.”

“I have to testify at a parole hearing. Against my best friend’s dad.”

(Flashback to the original trial, Ferris jumping over counsel’s desks to attack Mr. Frye on the stand)

“Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller?”

The parole officer wakes Ferris from his memory.

Sloane is done with her testimony and thanked by the board.

“No problem whatsoever.”

The guilt over Cameron’s death tore the young lovers apart. She hasn’t seen Ferris since Mr. Frye’s arraignment. Sloane walks by Ferris as he stands to testify. He looks her straight in the eye and sings,

“Do you have a kiss for Daddy?”

“Are you kidding?” Angrily, she storms out.

The parole board takes a minute for a little housekeeping. The chairwoman asks that a witness for the defense be stricken from the record.

“It turns out he’s a registered sex offender. His modus operandi was to approach young boys and say, ‘Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Your ass is mine.’”

“Mr. Bueller, if you are ready. Thank you. Now, the defense has long argued that Cameron was in fact dying. In your original testimony, you disagreed, saying “he just couldn’t think of anything good to do.”

“Yes. That’s correct.”

“The defense also argues that it was THAT illness that made Cameron light headed and fall to his death on top of the Ferrari. They say it was you, Mr. Bueller, who is responsible for Cameron’s fall. He should have stayed in bed. But he knew that you would keep calling him, you’d keep calling him until he came over.”

“No. Cameron was pushed by his father. A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn’t deserve such a fine automobile!”

“My baby!” Mr. Frye sobs. It’s unclear if he’s referring to his son or his car. Mr. Frye is denied parole.

Ferris leaves the courthouse and gets in the backseat of his car. Ferris asks his driver to take him home.

“You have nothing to worry about. I’m a professional.”

(Bow bow) Oh Yeah (Chick chicka chicka)

THE END


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