Romy & Michele Didn’t Got Married

New Microsoft PowerPoint Presentation
(Note, if not picked up can also be marketed as a ‘Peggy Sue Got Married’ reboot for Gen X)

LAST SEEN: Happily folding scarves

OPENS WITH: “Welcome Sagebrush High School Graduates of 1987” banner flying above Romy and Michele’s 20th High School Reunion.

They are totally in their own world and dancing like only R&M can.  Under the false assumption that everyone was going to dress up like it was the 80s, they looked wonderfully out of time and place.

Following their crowd-pleasing “Time After Time” interpretive dance at the 10th and unlikely success of their overall “not bad” fashion house, they are the most popular ones at the reunion.

Their classmates don’t realize their success has come at a cost; neither ever married and they rarely get to do fun things, like making fun of Pretty Woman or bounce up and down at SoulCycle, anymore.

The MC announces the reunion’s “queen and queen” – Romy & Michele!  After they walk on stage and are crowned, they look at each other and their world starts spinning.  They faint.

When Romy and Michele wake up – they are back in 1987 and are their teenage selves

In Mrs. Divitz’s class, the A-Group taunts Michele with their clever nickname, ‘back-brace girl’ and Billy Christiansen calls Romy “Chubbo”.

They make friends with Sandy Frink, the smartest guy in school and their future investor so he can figure out what’s happened to them.

At first, he thinks it’s a joke, but believes when they tell him how rich he will be because of inventing a special shoe rubber inspired by his own struggles with high arches.

The 3 of them decide they will get rich by inventing other people’s inventions first!  First up, Post-its.  Second, Lady Fair fast-burning cigarettes.

Romy & Michele, unencumbered with the trappings of work, start to have fun again.

They realize they don’t have to grow up and only eat businesswoman lunch specials.

“Michele!  The future doesn’t have to say that we didn’t got married.  We can go back to being a cashier and unemployed and have time to find some old men!  We can become the trophy wives we always wanted!”

At the senior prom, Romy and Michele are all blonde hair with black roots fabulous.

Christie approaches Romy in the life-changing confrontation regarding Billy Christiansen.  Romy knows this is her chance to tell Christie off.  But she also remembers how satisfying it was serving her revenge cold 10 years later She smiles thinking of Billy naked and waiting for her in that hotel room.

The Frink-a-zoid asks Michele to dance and she remembers him doing this in the future.  She thinks of all he’s done for her.  She finally got to work on Rodeo Drive – her dream!  And she’s not like those salesgirls in Beverly Hills who are bigger whores than the hooker in Pretty Woman!

Realizing they wouldn’t want to do anything differently, their world gets hazy and they find themselves 20 years later, right where they were on stage.  They hug and smile to the cheering crowd.

Flash forward a year and Romy and Michele at work, but back to their old carefree selves.  Michele finally said yes to a date with Sandy Frink, and Romy, after trying that lesbian thing out, is living with Janeane Garofalo, err Heather.

Happily, Romy & Michele work on finishing payroll.

THE END


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